


Let the world turn (Whatever feels good)

by targaryen_melodrama



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 13:15:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17898803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/targaryen_melodrama/pseuds/targaryen_melodrama
Summary: Not beta'ed, feel free to point out typos etc.





	Let the world turn (Whatever feels good)

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'ed, feel free to point out typos etc.

Even as the heat sinks into Bucky’s skin, he feels like he’s meant to be here, if only for a little while. If he was a regular unenhanced human, he’d be tired from all the driving, but as things are, he feels just fine. He moves slowly and deliberately, stretches like a cat that was just allowed out of its cage, and looks up at the sky. For what must be the hundredth time now, he’s reminded how happy his decision makes him.

When Bucky told people he was leaving, Steve had actually allowed himself to cry一much to Bucky’s relief. He’s glad Steve finally learnt to show some vulnerability after facing the end of the world as they all knew it. He and the rest of the newly reconciled Avengers were going back to the Tower, together. Thanos had shown them how much they meant to each other, how good they were together, and they’re ready to build things back up, brick by brick.

Bucky doesn’t care for any of it.

He’s so glad he’d learned to read Sam well. The second Steve had mentioned going back to the Tower, Bucky knew he and Sam were on the same page, and here they were a week later, driving out of the state, nervous but relieved.

The braided wood of the basket Bucky’s carrying digs into his hand and he starts walking with purpose now, towards the space he’s chosen the second the field came into view. He only stops when he hears Sam’s voice.

“You good, baby?”

Bucky turns and smiles at him. “I'm good. Wanna get started on this lemonade?”

“Absolutely.”

Sam pulls out the container of bourbon lemonade his sister had given them when they’d left Atlanta (along with some of her amazing peach cobbler) while Bucky spreads a large blanket on the grass. Their next stop is New Orleans and Bucky wants to make sure they’ve both had a nice break before heading back on the road.

“Cheers, sweetheart,” he says once Sam’s sat down next to him and handed him a glass.

“Cheers, baby.”

The lemonade is the perfect touch to a perfect day. The bourbon isn’t going to have an effect on Bucky, but it adds a nice kick to his drink anyways. Bucky wraps an arm around Sam’s back and sighs quietly when Sam leans his head on his shoulder. He’d be happy to stay like this and breathe in Sam’s skin for the rest of his days, but he has something to say and thousands of dollars spent in therapy taught him it’s easier to come right out and say it while he’s comfortable.

“Sam?”

“Hmm?”

“This一are you okay with this? With us...leaving the city?”

Sam kisses Bucky’s neck, then his jaw. “I am. I really am. What’s bringing this on, Buck?”

Before he answers, Bucky returns the favor, and takes his time laying a trail of kisses from Sam’s collarbone to his forehead, lingering everywhere the light hits. “I think I knew how you felt when Steve talked about living in the Tower again, but we never really talked about it, you know? I think一I want us to talk about all the important stuff. Even when we agree.”

Sam lifts his head up to properly look at Bucky, and his slow smile settles in Bucky’s stomach, warm and sweet like the lemonade they’re drinking.

“You’re right. We should talk about it.” Sam’s quiet for a few moments, and Bucky knows he’s thinking about his answer. Bucky takes advantage of the moment to put their cups down, fully wrap his arms around Sam and lays them both down on the blanket, Sam’s back to his chest, their hands wrapped around each other over Sam’s chest. 

“I just...I guess I need time,” Sam finally says. “I think that’s why they’re so great at what they do.” Sam doesn’t need to clarify anything; Bucky knows instantly that he’s talking about the Avengers. “There’s a part of them一of all of them一that needs this. Needs the adrenaline and the rush, the missions and the constant action. I can’t do that. Not anymore.”

Bucky thinks of Riley, who he’s never met, of Rhodey, who he plays poker with every once in a while, and of all the things and people Sam sees when he closes his eyes.

“I get it," Bucky says. “And you’re right...though for me it’s not that I can’t. It's that I don’t want to anymore.”

Sam nods, then tilts his head like he’s changed his mind. “I think it’s a bit more than that for me too. The thing is一the thing is reconciliating’s all good and well, but I need to see what got destroyed before I can start rebuilding again. Need to acknowledge things, and think and mourn. And though I knew what I was doing when I told Steve I’d look for you, I still didn’t think I’d get to see the actual end of the world, you know? This is a lot more than I thought I’d ever deal with, so God, can I take a break and get a chance to breathe after having seen all of that?”

Bucky nods.

“I’m glad I helped Steve一and the Avengers as a whole. I’m glad I got my wings back. Glad I could help people. Glad I met you. But that’s it for now. I’m good if we take a break from the aliens and doombots. Wouldn’t even mind if that break lasted forever.”

“I’m right there with you, sweetheart. Right there.”

Bucky turns Sam’s words in his mind for a few times. Spending forever on a break with Sam sounds like his version of heaven, but Bucky’s seen too much to let himself believe that can happen, one way or the other.

When they go back to New York, it’ll be back to normal. Back to life (and _back to reality_ , as Sam’s taken to sing under his breath). They’ll have to deal with the daily shit that comes with being gay superheroes dating each other. They’ll have to actually find a place to live together and learn when and where to put up boundaries when it comes to missions. Bucky’ll have to deal with more of the same reductive, insensitive and triggering takes from the public on the Winter Soldier. He doesn’t have a job, still isn’t a citizen of the country he more than died for decades ago, and some days, Bucky can barely hang on to his name.

But if he can’t make his break last forever, Bucky thinks as he kisses the top of Sam’s head, he can enjoy this one as best as he can. Starting now, with the sun heavy on his skin, the taste of peaches lingering in his mouth, and the warmth of Sam’s fingers in his.

**Author's Note:**

> Fic and title inspired by Slow Burn, by Kacey Musgraves. Wrote this a while ago after listening to the song for the first time. Wasn't sure if I wanted to post it at the time, but I've changed my mind. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, feel free to leave comments! 
> 
> I am on [Tumblr](https://targaryenmelodrama.tumblr.com) if you wanna drop by!


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